Look Back, Look Ahead
by John Larimore
Summary: Melissa Chapman's feelings after the war.


The following is an Animorphs fanfiction. Usual disclaimers apply.  
  
1 LOOK BACK, LOOK AHEAD  
  
My name is Melissa Chapman. My life has been flip-flopping and now I know why.  
  
One day my parents changed. They seemed to stop caring. Their hugs seemed fake. They barely noticed how I felt. Mom and Dad had many interests, but I wasn't one of them. I was just there. A responsibility to be feed and clothed.  
  
I wondered what I had done. Was there something wrong with me? Had suddenly become unlovable? Why? I thought and went over things that had happened, but I couldn't think of a single reason for them to reject me. All I could do was ask myself, "Why?"  
  
Then one day I found a note in my locker. It said that my father truly loved me. The note was unsigned. I didn't know what to think. Some mysterious person—who seemed to know what was going on in my life—leaves a note that makes a statement that seemed untrue.  
  
Maybe the note was supposed to make feel better. It didn't. I was only more confused. I wanted an answer. And then I was sorry I got one.  
  
Do you believe that there's life on other planets? I wasn't sure. But I am now.  
  
Earth was being invaded by Yeerks. Yeerks are parasites. They don't suck your blood nor get into your intestines and steal food. They wrap around your brain and take over your body. They control your every movement, every word, and have access to your every memory and thought. If you've got a Yeerk around your head, your' a Controller. Like my parents were.  
  
One day my mother became a Controller. Somehow my Dad found out. Usually the Yeerks just forcibly capture anyone who discovers them. But my Dad is a high school principal. Someone with access to lots of youngsters. Someone they can use to lure in more victims.  
  
So they made a deal with my father. If he became a Controller, the Yeerks would leave me alone. My Dad didn't believe them, but he took the deal. It was the only chance to save me.  
  
  
  
All this time, when I thought my parents were rejecting me, they were prisoners in their own bodies. I never it, but I was talking to two intelligent slugs-like things. Yeerks can fake the personality of their hosts, but they can't fake all their hosts' feelings. You can't fake love. That's something you feel.  
  
This whole time I was under the impression that my parents had stopped loving me in fact they loved as much as anyone could. Now that it's over, all I can do is cry and thank them.  
  
My friend Rachel, her cousin Jake, her friend Cassie, Jake's friends Marco and Tobias, and an Andalite—another alien—name Ax, formed a group called Animorphs, they fought the Yeerks until the other Andalites could come and drive the Yeerks off of our planet.  
  
That's not quite how it worked out. Rachel's dead, among others. But my parents, and many other Controllers, are now free.  
  
Here's the thing, the remaining Yeerks were given the ability to morph, to change temporarily—or permanently—into another being. They were allowed to become non-sentient creatures and live on earth. Every time I see a squirrel, a pigeon, an eagle, a fox, an otter, anything, I wonder, "Is that a Yeerk? Is that one of the things that made my family suffer?"  
  
It makes me angry. Why where they allowed to live? Why should they have lives on the planet they tried to conquer? Granted they weren't all guilty, but many of them were.  
  
Sometimes I want revenge. I think of hunting them down and killing them one by one. Making them suffer. Make them pay for what they did to my mother, my father, and me. But even if could find them, I couldn't. That's not why my parents sacrificed themselves. Not so I could become some type of vigilante.  
  
I want to be a good person for them. Be a good person for my Rachel who I'm sure left that note. They struggle to make the world a safer, better place. Now it's my turn. I've got to do something with my life. I want to make a difference.  
  
I'm thinking of getting into law and from there government. I hope I can be good at both. The world needs a brave, loving guidance. I've gotten it. Now I want to give it. 


End file.
